The Singles’ Blame Game

Disclaimer:

1. I do not celebrate Valentine's Day. I am writing this not to commemorate the hearts holiday but as a reaction to one trend that I have been seeing on social media platforms now that V-Day is nearing. 2. I too am single.

The single ladies be like:

"I am single because I don't settle for less. I am single because I am an independent woman. I am single because I have standards."

Ladies, admit it, it's the time of the year when you get a little sad over the fact that at your age, you are expected to have settled down or at least know someone out there who will most probably pop the question anytime soon. So you post these lines to make you feel better. Pampalubag loob. But let's get real, it's just sour graping or lemon sweetening isn't it?

1. So you blame your strong personality.

Men, quality men, are not repulsed by confidence and being outspoken. In fact, I know many of them who are turned on by self-assurance. What turns them off? Coming off arrogant. Perhaps some women become too caught up with appearing confident that they cross the line and appear overbearing.

2. And you have a brain too.

True enough, smart women intimidate men. However, it is not something that turns them away from you. When a man is truly into you, he will endure constantly looking up the dictionary when you two are texting. You wouldn't have to dumb yourself down.  But it's you who refuse to date less educated men huh? But that's your preference. If you just open your mind, sometimes men who appear not that smart actually are smart in their own way. After all, smart comes in different forms.

3. You earn.

Kudos woman! You earn. Again, it's not a hindrance in snagging a man. In this trying times and unsure economy, it is a plus that you can be a partner financially when the time comes. So go ahead and climb the corporate ladder, open a new business, invest.

4. You're looking for intelligence and humor instead of abs.

You are looking at the wrong places. Intelligent men with a funny bone, some even with abs are just around the corner. Hi Atom! Just because you are looking for a specific kind of guy doesn't mean you are limiting the dating pool so significantly that you are now single. Don't underestimate men. Sometimes it is you who lack understanding about the male psyche.

5. Plus character.

Hindi pare-pareho ang mga lalaki. May mababait din. Pramis! Need I say more?

6. You don't settle.

Okay, conceded. You don't have to settle. Red flags are red flags, so don't wave the white flag and be beaten by the process of looking for the perfect fit. However, relationships require hard work. It does not necessarily mean that you have to change who you are along the process but you do have to concede at some point and meet in the middle. It's a two way street.

It's cool to be happy about being single. But we need not be defensive about it. We need not play the blame game. If there's someone who is fated to be your partner, then even if all hell breaks loose, he WILL find you. Hindi siya natraffic sa EDSA, sadyang di pa niya schedule dumating sa buhay mo.

Moreover, what I learned about men is if he is really into you, he will move mountains just to get to you. You need not to make up excuses for him like he is intimidated, he is shy, he is busy, he isn't good in communicating, etc.  The reason why he is not calling or texting is the bitter truth that he is not into you. There is even a movie revolving around that idea. Go watch it!

So if you are wishing to be paired one day, work towards it. Walang masama maghangad ok? We all need love. Not just from ourselves, friends and family but from a stranger who will validate our kagandahan. Alam mong maganda ka, pero iba pa rin pag may nagsasabi sayo. Gets? So yes, work for it. Invest in yourself while waiting for him to come along. I learned this from a guy: It's not about finding the perfect person for you but being the perfect person for him/her. Imagine bumping into Atom Araullo-ish guy, are you ready for him? Are you polished enough?

It's a win-win situation. Whether you meet your future love along the way or not, in the end, you have made yourself complete, and that's enough to lead a happy life, single or paired.