Boho Days

It has been pretty a long time since I have written something from my heart. For a time, I guess I just didn't want to talk about it. It's not easy to be too honest online. It's never easy to expose oneself to the world. Arrows may come from anywhere.

But right now, I have this need to write. To write from my heart.

I just enrolled for the second sem of this school year to finish everything that I have left off hanging. You know I left school (again) for reasons that need not be verbalized. It took plenty of courage for me to come back to school. You know when you are a dropout, coming back is such a dreaded thing. You are already too accustomed yet to foreign to the school environment. I had to come back because even I felt like I need to live a real dream and stop this boho kind of life--too carefree and floating with the wind.

The past few months have been my happiest. I fell in love with filmmaking, volunteered to a public high school, and did pretty much anything that I found fun without any responsibility to hold me back. I was so unattached, so free. I enjoyed and devoured every moment of it. I can live that way forever, a brown-haired petite lady in her flowy dress and ethnic beads lounging on the meadow. I was growing too unattached and farther from the real world and bang goes the rubber band effect. I snapped back to reality with a zing. The truth really is I cannot live that way forever. Like what I told Rashid:

"We can never really escape the tarpaulin culture."

As much as I want to be idyllic and idealistic, in this harsh world, we don't thrive on sunshine and butterflies. The so-called life is lived in the name of power, wealth, fame and glamour. At the end of the day, the honorable is the politician, not the teacher in the barrio. At the end of the day, unless you have a prefix and/or suffix to your name, you are a nobody. We can't escape that, at least in the Meranao society.

I'm not into power, wealth, and fame. But when people start acting like they are tiara-wearing princesses around you just because they have prefixes already, you want to remind them who can wear the tiara better.

Although I am ready now to play the game that everyone else is playing, I won't lose that boho vibe. I will always see life from a different lens. I will always aspire to, as much as possible, walk on the road less taken and leave a mark in everything I do. I will take my time. I will stop chasing the dragon flies just to smell the roses and kiss a baby. One thing that I firmly believe in is that we have a choice in life. We can live it any way we want. Life is too short to waste on conformity and too precious to waste on idling.

Outfit:

Denim button-down shirt worn as a cardi: Levis

Dress: custom-made

Gladiator sandals: Parisian

Croc shoulder bag: gifted

xxx